Charlie Elizabeth Collado

Oh Angel Bear, I remember New Year's Eve 2008 like it was yesterday, just like your mommy . I was not lucky enough to be with you on that night but I remember being home and your mommy & daddy took a video of you with your eyes open. I had some technical difficulties opening up the video and was EXTREMELY anxious.  When I was FINALLY able to get the video open, the joy and excitement I felt as well as everyone else when we saw your eyes is indescribable, they were just soooo BEAUTIFUL! All of my memories of your are super special and dear to my heart and this one is definitely one of them. I LOVE YOU SOOOOO much & MISS you SOOOOO much Angel-Bear!!

P.S. Charlie Charlie bo BARLEYYYY!! 

One of my sweetest memories of my angel was on New Year's Eve of 2008. Charlie was having such a hard time reducing the swelling and getting healthier. Erick and I had not seen her beautiful eyes in a while. We sat by her side and watched her and kissed her and sang to her. Toward the end of the night, as Charlie slept, we turned on the TV to watch the ball drop. We were hoping that the new year would bring more hope and better news about our babys health. Right before the ball dropped, we looked down and guess who was staring up at us? Charlie!! It was as if she was letting us know that she would be joining us the following year and wanted to be wide awake to welcome it. I can't tell you how wonderful it was to see those beautiful eyes peering up at us. Thinking about it now brings tears to my eyes...I miss your beautiful eyes little bear♥

One of the many memories that I have of my sweet Charlie was the day she was born. My induced labor began around 11PM on December 4th and I remember thinking it wasn't so bad. I mean it was painful, but it wasn't what I expected it to be. Erick and I were so excited to know that we would be seeing and holding her soon and worked through every contraction with the help of our wonderful doula Luann.

 

Finally sometime the next day, the doctor told us that I haven't dialated passed 4 or 5 centimeters and gave me the option to break my water. After discussing the positives and negatives, we obliged and that is when the real pain began. Needless to say, most of what occured was a blur to me at that point because the pain was blinding. What I do remember was the sense of knowing that Charlie was ready to be born.

 

So, at 3:58 PM Charlie emerged and the first two things that I thought when I saw her were, "Wow, I can't believe she is here" and "Wow, I hope she doesn't look like that forever!" She was all squished, swollen, and her poor little head was a perfect cone. After Erick cut her cord, Charlie would begin to breath on her on and then stop. This happened a few times, so before I had a chance to hold her the nursing team made sure she was stable. I was on pins and needles the whole time and the fear on Erick's face was obvious.

 

Finally, they placed my sweet Charlie in my arms. Oh, how I wish I could go back to that moment. She was so soft, so sweet, so wonderful. I was in total shock that I she was mine and I actually had a baby:) After a few minutes, Erick followed the team to the NICU where they did a few tests on Charlie.

 

Due to Charlie's heart condition, I knew they would be bringing her to the CICU (Cardiac Intensive Care Unit) soon after. But to my surprise they brought her back to me so that I could hold her again. I loved being with her and holding her. She felt so good in my arms.

 

I was able to see and hold Charlie again later on that night after the doctors made sure I was okay. She was lying there in her little bed sleeping peacefully. She was just so sweet.

My little angel, I could NOT wait to meet her. I was soooo anxious because everyone else got to meet and hold her and I could not wait for my turn.  When I finally arrived in Boston to meet the angel, she was in surgery and so I had to wait even longerrrr.  The hours she was in surgery felt like days and when she was out of surgery it took forever for the staff to settle her into her room.  She was on the ECMO machine which took them even longer to settle her in.  Finally, though we were able to walk into the room and meet her.  I was in awe of how beautiful she was even after such a rough day.  I did not want to leave at the end of the night because I just wanted to stay there and watch my little princess. Everyday I was getting ready to see her I was anxious and could not wait till I was able to see her. 

 

One day I will never ever forget was when mami and I went out in the snow storm to get Charlie a radio because she needed to listen to her lullabies.  This was the same weekend I met her.  Mami and I went to EVERY open store that we could find that could possibly have a radio.  Finally we went to that Wal-Greens by the Stop-n-Shop and were able to find her the radio.  We were soooo ecstatic because we knew not only how happy Charlie would be to hear her cds but B really wanted her to hear them as well.  While at the Wal-Greens we picked up a pack of cards which I would later use to spank Erick in spit (lol).  That little radio played hours and hoursss of lullabies which we all made into Charlie lullabies.  I LOVEDDD playing the Charlie lullabies on her adorable little feet. Man do I miss those little feet and all of that precious angel and her distinct and delightful scent. Every time I catch even the slightest scent of Purell it brings me right back to her room that we were sooooo excited for her to get because she was out of the ECMO corner and in her own room.  Well these are just some of the memories I have of my precious angel and I will share some more with time.  I LOVE YOU Charlie-Bear, Beatriz and Edwarp.   Charlie Charlie bo Barleyyyy, Banana Fanna fo Farleyyyyy, Feee Fi mo Marleyyyyy…. CHARLIIEEEEE!!!!

Although I wasn't one of the few that got to meet this amazing little girl, I feel that I got to know Charlie through the constant updates posted daily. Thanks to her incredible parents, we all were able to read about Charlie's personality traits and what definitely seemed to be an independent little diva attitude here and there...lol...and it made me feel like I knew her. She was quite the little character and I'm thankful that she was here long enough to discover those things. There has been nothing that has amazed me more than knowing that she every day she fought another battle with all the odds against her just to stay with the people who loved her. If it weren't for them, she may not have been able to fight as long. It is truly awe-inspiring how someone so small could actually love that powerfully. That will forever be my memory of Charlie.